It's Always Been You
by herlovethawedthefrozenheart
Summary: Things are looking up for Arendelle three months after the Thaw. And Elsa and Anna have never been closer, trying to make up for their lost childhood. But what happens when they both begin to fall for each other but are too scared to face their feelings? And why is Anna sick?
1. Just An Average Day

Fandom: Frozen

Pairing: Elsanna

Rating: T (for now maybe)

Summary: Things are looking up for Arendelle three months after the Thaw. And Elsa and Anna have never been closer, trying to make up for their lost childhood. But what happens when they both begin to fall for each other but are too scared to face their feelings? And why is Anna sick?

Author's Note: I haven't written a story, not to mention a multi chaptered story, in so long. So I apologize in advance if it sucks. And that summary is really bad so please don't let that deter you from reading. But I do hope you enjoy! This isn't beta'd so all mistakes are mine.

Chapter 1

The sky was just waking up in Arendelle and so was a reluctant Anna. Slowly peeling off the warm blankets with a soft whine, Anna sat up in her bed, adjusting her blue nightgown and trying to calm her wild hair down to a size that wouldn't frighten small children. She rubbed her eyes and sighed, desperately wishing she could go back to sleep. _Another long day of meetings, treaties, and trades to look forward to. Lucky us. _She honestly didn't know how her sister could sit through them and not once look distracted. Elsa paid attention to every word that was said to them while Anna had a habit of zoning out during the boring parts, only zoning back in when Elsa nudged her under the table when what they were hearing was actually relevant. She smiled at Elsa's thoughtfulness, knowing her sister was thankful that Anna came with her to every meeting, even the ones which she didn't have to. _Yeah but then you make her do all the work and have to bail you out so you don't get caught daydreaming. _Anna's smile faded. _Big help._

Promising herself that she'd do better during today's appointments, Anna finally stood up from bed. Only to immediately lean on her nightstand as a wave of vertigo washed over her. Anna waited until it passed, then groaned. She hadn't been feeling well for the past few weeks and was hoping that today, for whatever reason, she'd be magically cured. It was more annoying then concerning, really. Sometimes she'd feel a bit dizzy, other times nauseous. A headache here and there. Her and Elsa had been through a lot in the past three months. Her body was just responding to the stress of it all. It was because of her weak excuses that she'd convinced herself to not bother telling Elsa. _She'd just worry and be mad that I didn't tell her sooner!_ Anna justified. _It's not like she could do anything anyways. And she already has so much on her plate. _The only bright side was that she wouldn't have to attend the meetings because Elsa would put her on strict bed rest and have Gerda make sure she stayed there. _So really the choice is time with Elsa or time alone. Wonder what I'll pick…_

After choosing Elsa, more of a given than a choice, Anna walked to her adjoining chambers to freshen up for the day, taking off her silky blue nightgown that Elsa had once mentioned liking before.

It was now Anna's favorite item to wear to sleep.

Though she liked to sleep in as much as her sister did, the Queen also didn't mind getting an early start to her day. Where as Anna needed Kai to knock on her door at least twice, Elsa was usually halfway through her morning routine before her first wake up call. Except, of course, when the sisters shared a room, something they'd been doing more and more. Then it was Elsa's job to wake Anna, though she took pity on her sister and only woke her when she absolutely couldn't afford sleep any longer.

Which is why Elsa was shocked when she walked into the dining hall and saw Anna sitting at the table with an already half eaten plate in front of her. Elsa did her best to hide her surprise.

"You don't have to look so shocked." Anna smiled.

Apparently, she did not do a good job. "Good morning. You're up early." Elsa remarked, sitting down in her usual chair next to Anna and filling her own plate. "And hungry too, I see."

Anna chuckled as she remembered Kai's astonishment at seeing her fully dressed and already on her way out the door earlier. "Morning! Yeah, I didn't eat much at dinner last night, remember?" _And thank goodness for that, considering I threw up whatever I did eat in the middle of the night. _Anna winced when she thought of the extra work she created for her maid. _Must have been bad fish. For once, I'm glad Elsa and I slept separately. _

"And you're sure you feel all right?" Elsa asked again, concerned. She had never known her sister to not have an appetite, so to see Anna push her food around her plate while barely taking any bites was more than enough cause to worry. She placed her hand on Anna's forehead to see if she had a fever. Anna playfully swatted her hand away.

"You worry too much, you know." Anna teased with a smile to let Elsa know she didn't mind. In fact, quite the opposite: she loved how Elsa constantly doted on her now, especially after going so long wondering if her big sister even liked her anymore.

"You're my baby sister. It's my job to protect you." Elsa told her, cupping Anna's cheek. They both sighed; their entire lives had been defined by Elsa's desire to keep Anna safe from harm. No matter what it cost them.

"You take that job very seriously." Anna said quietly, leaning into her cool touch and reaching up to lay her hand on Elsa's wrist.

"It's my most precious task."

Anna's breath caught at the emotion in Elsa's voice. Her eyes started to tear up. "Oh, Elsa."

"Shh, don't cry, Snowflake." She swiped her thumb against Anna's freckled cheek. "I'm here now. I'm here." Elsa's whispers faded away, leaving a charged silence between the two. They stared at one another, unable to look away and feeling vulnerable in such an intimate moment. Anna thought she saw Elsa swiftly glance to her lips.

"Queen Elsa, Princess Anna, can I get you anything else to eat or drink?" They jumped back, not having heard the server enter the large dining. Elsa glanced at her plate and then at Anna's.

"I think I'm okay for now. Thank you. Are you, Anna?" She nodded, not looking at Elsa, willing her blush to go away. The server left and the two fell into an uncomfortable silence while they finished their meal.

Anna cleared her throat when she was done. "So…" _Why am I so nervous? _"We have to see the Navy Captain again, right?

"Yes!" Elsa was all too happy to change the subject. "Yes, we're meeting him soon. He's going to update us on the fjord's progress and tell us what still needs to be repaired." They stood up, Anna stumbling a bit from a slight dizzy spell. Thankfully, Elsa was straightening out her cape on her ice dress and facing the other way. "Shall we?" Anna nodded.

They walked toward the meeting chambers with a nervous air between them, something they were desperate to get rid of but weren't sure how. Anna reached out her hand, hesitated, then waved her concerns away as she looped her arm through Elsa's. Elsa couldn't hide her smile as she tucked Anna's arm to her.

_If this man mentions cheese one more time… _As Queen, Elsa had taken a personal oath that she would hear every complaint that came from her people, big or small, and do her best to help. But this man had been talking about cheese trade for the better part of an hour and Elsa was steadily losing focus. Thankfully, this was their last appointment before lunch.

The first meeting had started out rockier than expected. Hearing about the destruction _she_ caused to the fjord was always upsetting, but hearing Captain Becker's long list about what still had not been repaired was causing Elsa to lose the control she worked so hard to gain these past few months. Just as frost was about to creep on the window, a warm hand slid onto her lap, palm upwards.

Anna.

Elsa intertwined their fingers and squeezed, giving Anna a look of gratitude, which she returned with a shy smile. She felt her control come back to her and the room's temperature raised a few degrees. Anna always had that effect on her. She sat with Anna's hand tightly in hers for the rest of the meeting.

The second and third ones were shorter and less emotionally taxing, but were of no real consequence. Mostly paperwork that required a once over and a signature for things that were being done anyway but needed the Queen's stamp of approval. Could this cart move to the North end of the marketplace? Can this store change the hours they operate? She honestly didn't understand why they needed her approval for doing things that should be in their right.

And now, the delightful cheese enthusiast was explaining why trade with Weselton should be restored, lest Arendelle wants to miss out on different varieties of the dairy product. It was when he started discussing Weselton's remarkable cows that Elsa completely switched her focus to her younger sister.

Elsa couldn't fathom how Anna thought herself anything less than beautiful. She was wearing a casual light green dress that complimented her eyes and contrasted the freckles that were more pronounced on her skin than Elsa's. Her hair was done in her usual two braids, which made her look absolutely adorable. But it wasn't just how Anna looked that made her beautiful; it was her heart. Anna was so kind to everyone she met. She was sweet and cared about people, whether they were friends or strangers. She was so loyal to those she cared about and she loved just as fiercely. Elsa loved her so much.

_You're in love with her._

Elsa discarded the thought as quickly as it came. She made every effort to not dwell on those kinds of things. She was developing inappropriate feelings for her sister. Her _baby sister_. Anna had once encouraged her to share her demons, to share her burden, but these demons were ones Anna could never be privy to.

_Then why did you almost kiss her at breakfast? _

Elsa didn't know what had come over her earlier. All she saw was Anna, staring at her with such love in her eyes, and she almost blew it. She almost scared away the one person she couldn't live without. Anna was innocent and pure and now Elsa was a monster for a different reason.

But sometimes, she couldn't help it. She'd look at Anna as the sun was setting behind her, the rays shining on her hair and Elsa would stop breathing. She'd hear Anna laugh at something Olaf said and her heart would race at the sound. She'd feel Anna's warmth whenever they hug and Elsa would have difficulty letting go. But it was hardest when they shared a room, a bed, and she'd watch the rise and fall of Anna's chest as her sister slept peacefully and Elsa would be so overcome with her love for Anna that it was all she could do to not press her lips against her sister's, just to see what they felt like.

She was shaken out of her thoughts when she noticed Anna flinch, a pained look on her face.

"Are you all right, Princess Anna?"

Anna looked at their guest and smiled so widely that Elsa knew it was fake. "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you. Just a small headache."

Elsa knew this was the perfect opportunity to end the cheese rant and managed to speak before the cheese man could start again. "We understand your problem and appreciate the effort you took to prepare. We will review and be sure to send word of our decision." She stood up to make sure the man knew their meeting had come to a close. After hearing the man's many thanks and finally the door closing, Elsa was at Anna's side. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Anna slowly stood up, bracing herself against the table in what she hoped was an inconspicuous manner. "I'm fine, just a headache like I said. I never knew someone could be so passionate about cheese! I'm glad you ended it when you did." Anna hoped her attempt to change the subject would make Elsa forget her slip up.

It didn't.

"Are you falling ill? First the decreased appetite and now headaches? Should we visit the infirmary? Or should I call the doctor to your room? Perhaps-"

"Elsa!" Anna interrupted her before she could pull an 'Anna' and begin to ramble. "I'm fine. I'm sure it's just a hunger headache. It's been hours since breakfast."

"You'd tell me if you weren't feeling well, right?" Elsa had to be sure her sister was fine.

Anna hesitated, wondering if she should come clean and say she's been feeling sick for the past few weeks. _She'd be worried and upset, not to mention absolutely furious that you hid it from her for so long. I don't want to lose her when I just got her back. I'm sure it'll pass eventually. _

So Anna lied. "Of course I would, Elsa. Now can we eat please? I'm starving."

Elsa stared at her sister for a moment and then smiled, accepting what Anna said. "Okay! Okay, I know you said I worry too much so I'll stop. Let's go to the dining hall."

Anna let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

Anna actually did feel better after they ate lunch. Perhaps it _was_ just a headache from not eating for a while. Or maybe it was because her and Elsa had basically talked about nothing and yet they couldn't stop laughing. Or when they finally calmed down enough to actually eat, the chef had brought out a plate of cheeses and it had taken them several minutes for them to catch their breath.

Whatever it was, Anna felt on top of the world.

"So did Olaf say where he was going?" Anna asked, her sides hurting from laughing so much.

"I believe he went to go visit Marshmallow." Elsa bit down a laugh.

"Even after all this time, you can't say his name with a straight face." Anna teased.

"Well, excuse me for thinking the name 'Marshmallow' doesn't fit. You have seen him, haven't you?"

"Yes, I have. And it does so fit because he's a giant softie underneath that tough exterior. Remember how sad he looked after you yelled at him for how he chased me off a cliff?"

"While I do feel bad that I yelled, he needed it! I could barely believe it when you told me." _Not to mention, I almost had a heart attack when you said you fell 200 feet to what could have easily been your death. I've almost caused your death so many times, Anna._

Anna was unaware of her sister's train of thought. "And how cute he looked in your tiara. Not to mention how happy he was when you told him he could have it?"

Elsa had to smile. "Yes, he did look rather sweet in it."

Anna had a triumphant smirk. "See! Like I said. A big softie. Just like you." Anna poked Elsa's side and laughed as she jumped.

"Oh, is that right?"

"Absolutely! You act all tough," Anna made a tough face that Elsa snickered at, "but you're really just a sweetheart."

"Only with you, Snowflake." Elsa said, grabbing Anna's hand that was on the table.

Anna squeezed back. "I like being special."

Just as Elsa was about to tell Anna how special she was, a happy snowman interrupted them.

"Hi Elsa! Hi Anna!" Olaf ran over to them as fast as his little legs could carry him.

"Hi Olaf!" They said together and then grinned.

"How's your day been?" Anna asked.

"Great! I went to the North Mountain to visit Marshmallow. He was happy to see me." Olaf grinned.

"How is Marshmallow?" Elsa asked and Anna grinned when she noticed Elsa still had the urge to smile at his name.

"He's good! He likes living in the castle. It's a great place to play hide and seek."

"How do you play hide and seek with someone as big as Marshmallow?" Anna asked, confused.

"Well..." Olaf hesitated. "He's not very good at hiding. So he usually counts while I hide."

"We used to love that game when we were younger." Elsa told him. "The castle is so large, it was impossible to run out of hiding spots."

"I used to always win." Anna was smug.

"Only because you picked the most ridiculous hiding places! To this day, I still don't understand how you got on top of the chandelier."

"Mama screamed so loud when she saw me up there that Papa ran in thinking the castle was being attacked."

"And I had to create a staircase to get you."

Anna laughed as the new, well technically old, memory came to her. She had always thought they fetched a ladder to get her when they forbade her to come down the same way she went up. But when she lost her beloved white streak of hair, she regained the real memories of her childhood.

Both lost in the few memories they had when their childhood was happy, they almost didn't hear Olaf ask "So when are Sven and Kristoff returning?"

Elsa stiffened at the name and immediately felt guilty. She knew her sister wasn't dating him and she was indebted to him for protecting Anna when she couldn't, but she knew that he still had feelings for Anna even if she did not return them. And though Elsa knew she had no right to be jealous, she still was.

"I believe Kristoff said he'd be back in two days. He had a delivery for Matley which is about a day's ride from here." Kristoff was a great friend, he truly was. And she had thought he might have been "the One" months ago. But she immediately knew he wasn't when they had kissed and she felt…nothing. No spark that was in every romance novel she read. There weren't any lights in the sky. Her knees didn't go weak. It was just a kiss. Even the kiss she had shared with Hans right after he proposed had something to it. But she didn't like to dwell on Hans. Ever.

She looked at Elsa, who was talking to Olaf. She watched the way her lips moved as she talked, the way they devoured a piece of chocolate, how they moved into a smile when Olaf said something funny. She wondered what kissing Elsa would be like… She blinked, surprised at the thought that entered her mind. And even more surprised to find she didn't mind it.

Anna shook her head and turned back to them.

"Are you two busy tomorrow?" Olaf asked.

"Actually, we're not. We have a light schedule planned." Elsa told him, who looked ecstatic.

"We should go on a picnic! It'll be so much fun! We can eat, well you two can eat, and play and enjoy the rest of the warm weather while we can!"

"What do you think, Anna?" Elsa asked her.

"I think," Anna pretended to think about it, "a picnic sounds lovely." Elsa and her shared a smile as Olaf squealed in delight and ran around, planning all sorts of activities for tomorrow.

Anna looked down at their hands that were still intertwined on top of the table. Elsa followed her line of sight and squeezed. Anna squeezed back.

_ Yes, lovely indeed._


	2. A Family Affair

Chapter 2- A Family Affair

"Come on, come on, come on!" Olaf dragged Elsa and Anna, one on each twig arm, towards the kitchens to pick up their picnic supplies. Today had been a great day for the sisters. It wasn't even noon yet and they had the rest of the day to do whatever they pleased. First on the list: their planned time with Olaf.

"I'm impressed, Olaf." Anna told him as he guided them throughout the large hallways, closer to their destination. "You picked up the layout of the castle really quickly." When she was small, Anna needed Elsa's help to make her way throughout their home. The four year old couldn't believe it; their home was so _big_. Everywhere she turned, there was another door, which led to other rooms, which had other doors in them. And Elsa always indulged her when she said she wanted to go somewhere new.

But after they were separated, Anna spent her days walking aimlessly around the castle. What else was there for her to do? Her days consisted of sleeping, eating, lessons, wandering and knocking. She learned every hidden room, secret passage, and trick step. Anna was certain she knew the castle better than anyone, even those who built it.

"Well…" Olaf turned his head around to face them while his body was still moving forward. A skill that Elsa and Anna had previously discussed was a bit unsettling. "I only know my way to the kitchen because I stop here to pick up carrots for Sven." Olaf twirled his head back. "This place is huge!"

"He sounds like you." Elsa smirked at her, poking her side. "You always loved going into every room, even the ones that were off limits. Mama even asked me if you were trying to make a map."

"Oh, don't act like it was just me!" Anna laughed. "I know there was a little Elsa that roamed the halls every day, marveling the architecture. Then I was born and gave you better things to do."

Elsa cocked an eyebrow. "If I remember correctly, and I do, you would drag me throughout the castle and ask me about how it was built."

"Yeah but not because I really cared." Anna blurted out. Then immediately wished she hadn't said that because now Elsa would want her to elaborate.

And she did. "Then why did you ask me to explain it so many times?" Elsa was surprised.

Anna looked down. _Why am I so nervous around you lately?_ "You loved talking about it. It made you happy."

Elsa turned her head away quickly, but Anna still saw the blush. It was the only time you could clearly make out Elsa's freckles. Anna thought she looked adorable.

Elsa, meanwhile, was silently repeating a new mantra she had needed many times as of late. _Don't kiss her, don't kiss her, don't kiss her._

After finally making it to the kitchens, where plenty of castle workers insisted on carrying the baskets for them but were waved off by their Queen, they had made it to outside the castle grounds and began their short walk to the hillside.

Anna watched as Olaf set their blanket down and Elsa lowered both baskets to the floor. Anna had tried to carry one of the baskets but felt a sudden muscle ache in her arm as soon as she lifted it, causing her to swiftly drop it back onto the counter with a loud bang. Elsa had turned to her in shock and Anna, for lack of a less worrisome excuse, told her she had fallen on the stairs and landed hard on the floor, catching herself with her hands.

This delayed them ten minutes, with Elsa urging her to sit and continuously running her cold fingers over Anna's wrists, ironically creating a warm feeling inside her.

"So what do we do first?" Olaf asked, bringing Anna back to the present. Elsa smiled at his excitement.

"Why don't you suggest something?" Elsa told him.

"Oh, oh! I know!" He said, hopping up and down on his little snow feet. "Let's play hide and seek! I love that game. Well, I love all games but that one especially."

"Me too!" Anna told him and Elsa had to forcibly keep the smile on her face as a wave of guilt came over her. Yes, Anna did love that game and she was great at it too. She always used to win, just like she mentioned yesterday. But she was nice about it; always coming out of her hiding spot when Elsa asked her to because it was taking too long to find her. That and Elsa was worried something might have happened to her. _And then you spent the next thirteen years hiding from her, never once coming out of your room no matter how much she begged. _She thought bitterly. Elsa watched her sister chat happily with Olaf. Anna didn't deserve all the heartbreak she had caused her. And Elsa truly didn't deserve her.

"So will you do it?" Anna's voice broke through her downward spiral.

"Do what?"

"Create snow hills so we have somewhere to hide?" Elsa looked around and noticed that, aside from a few hills, there were no real hiding spots.

"Oh. Of course." With a wave of her hand, Elsa created piles of snow all around them, all different shapes and sizes. "There. That should work." She only just noticed Olaf run off in glee when she felt Anna hold her hand.

"It's beautiful!" Anna faced her and Elsa almost blushed at the look of pure admiration Anna had. Anna always had the same expression whenever Elsa used her magic. Her delighted smile and eyes full of wonder could make Elsa believe that her powers were a blessing instead of a curse. Anna was never frightened of her powers. She never thought Elsa was a monster. She always believed that Elsa was capable of good, even when Elsa was so sure of the opposite.

"You're beautiful." Elsa told her, using their joined hands to pull Anna closer and press a kiss against her forehead. She felt Anna's eyes flutter shut against her. They stayed that way for a few moments, neither willing to pull away until they heard Olaf yell in the distance that he was coming to find them, ready or not.

They weren't ready. "We should probably find a place to hide." She heard Anna say, even though she didn't move a muscle. Elsa chuckled against her, leaving one more kiss and then smoothing out Anna's bangs, pulling away.

"Let's go."

They played for an hour and a half, Elsa changing the layout of snow every few turns. It was fairly evenly matched. Olaf would blend in with the snow, Anna was creative as ever and Elsa, who refused to lose in her element, kept creating more snow to confuse the other two.

It was the most fun Elsa had had in a very long time.

They were just finishing up their sandwiches when Olaf, who was in the middle of telling them a story about one of his adventures with Sven, saw a group of butterflies and proceeded to chase them around the once again green hillside, story forgotten. Both girls laughed at the snowman's antics, watching him run after one butterfly only to get distracted by another one.

Anna yawned and lay down on the blanket, hands over her now full stomach. Elsa looked at her sister, trying very hard to stop her eyes from roaming. "You should let the food digest before you lie down."

"That's no fun." Anna said.

"It's not supposed to be fun. It's good for you."

"But I'm tired, so it's okay." Elsa sighed. _Anna logic._

Anna laughed at her sister's less than pleased expression. She then got a mischievous glint in her eyes, scooting over on the blanket and patting the empty space next to her. "Sleep with me."

_She didn't mean it like that! _Elsa told herself as her heart started to beat so fast, she was irrationally afraid it would fly out of her chest. Anna saw Elsa noticeably gulp and then realized what she said, eyes going wide.

_I didn't mean it like that! Right? Right. Right? I don't even know anymore. I _shouldn't_ mean it like that but- _"Um, you know…" Anna said softly, heart unknowingly beating as fast as Elsa's. "Lie down with me so we can nap together."

Elsa could only nod, willing the heat that had spread through her at her sister's words to go away. She took a seat on Anna's left and then lowered herself on the blanket, making sure they weren't touching. After a tense few seconds, Anna spoke up.

"Remember how at night, we used to stargaze when we were younger? We would look out from our window, or if we were feeling lucky, sneak out to the garden and lay on the grass?"

Elsa did remember. It was some of her fondest memories. "I do."

"Whenever we couldn't sleep, we'd just look at the stars. And you'd teach me the names of the constellations."

Elsa laughed, the tension disappearing. "Actually, I remember a lot of those nights were because you couldn't sleep and would wake me up by jumping on my bed."

"Oh, uh…Sorry." Elsa heard the quiver in Anna's voice and was alarmed to see the hurt in her eyes.

"Oh, no, Anna! I didn't mean it like that! I loved that you would wake me up." Anna didn't look convinced so Elsa continued. "I looked forward to it, even."

"Really?" Some of the hurt had disappeared and was replaced with hopefulness.

"Of course! Those are some of my favorite memories. I mean, I even-" Elsa stopped herself, not wanting to bring it up but knowing Anna wouldn't let it go.

"You even what?"

Elsa took a deep breath and finished. "I even spent most nights when we were apart looking at the stars from my window." Elsa looked away. "And wondering to myself if you were doing the same." She mumbled.

Anna curled into Elsa and snuggled into her chest, wanting to never be apart again. "I did." She felt Elsa stiffen.

"You did what?"

"I looked at the stars from my window too. I would name all the constellations you taught me and wondered if you would be proud that I actually paid attention." Anna hid her face in Elsa's chest, the memories of their separation and the pain she felt whenever she looked at the stars made tears burn in her eyes. "I'd look at the stars and wonder why you left me. If you even still loved me."

Elsa couldn't stop the tears that fell. "Oh, Snowflake." She gasped and gathered Anna tightly in her arms and let the younger girl weep into her chest. "I've always loved you. I love you so much." Elsa adjusted them so that Anna's head was tucked into her neck so that she could kiss the top of the auburn's head. "So, so much." _You have no idea how much. _"I'm so sorry you thought I didn't love you."

"I know you do." Anna told her as her tears slowly subsided. She brought Elsa's hand to her lips and kissed it. "I love you too." _More than you know._

"I'm so sorry, Anna."

Anna scrunched her brow but realized Elsa couldn't see her face. "For what?"

"For everything. I'm sorry for what you went through because of me. I'm sorry we stopped playing hide and seek. I'm sorry we stopped watching the stars." Elsa didn't mean to ramble but once she started apologizing, she couldn't stop. The desperation was building with each confession. "I'm sorry for every present we couldn't exchange face to face. I'm sorry you couldn't come to me when you had your first cycle and was too embarrassed to go to Mama. I'm sorry for not being there for you when Mama and Papa died- no, forget that- for being there for you _your entire life_. I'm so sorry for being a monster, for almost killing you so many times and I'm _so sorry _for these feelings-!"

"Elsa!" Anna yelled.

Elsa hadn't noticed Anna had been shaking her until she yelled her name. Once Elsa had calmed down enough, Anna switched them so that Elsa's head was laying on her chest as she ran her finger's through the older girl's hair, whispering "it's okay, it's okay, I love you" over and over.

Elsa let Anna's voice calm her down, trying to slow her heartbeat to match Anna's breathing. But she panicked again as she realized that she almost confessed to Anna her inappropriate feelings.

"Hey, shh. Shh." Anna cooed when she noticed Elsa breathing fast again. "It's okay, Elsa." She waited until Elsa calmed again. "I want you to listen to what I'm going to say, okay?" She felt Elsa nod and move off of her, so that they were side by side, staring at each other. Anna looked directly into Elsa's eyes. "You don't have to apologize, Elsa. There's no need."

Elsa's disagreement was immediate. "No, Anna. I-"

Anna touched Elsa's cheek, thumb dusting over the barely there freckles. "There's no need because there's nothing to apologize for. You were trying to protect me. You didn't want to even chance hurting me again that you isolated yourself and gave up your childhood. Elsa, I'm sorry for how we grew up and I'm so sorry you thought yourself a monster, but _please_, listen to me and believe me when I say that you did nothing wrong. You gave everything up so that you wouldn't hurt anyone. You gave me up because you wanted to protect me more than anything. I never knew it was possible to love someone that much, the way you loved me all that time. I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it, Elsa. You're not a monster and you did nothing wrong. I love you so much and we can move on from the past because we're together now and we're going to make sure it stays that way." Anna didn't know what came over her but she leaned forward and just barely touched their lips together before pulling back. "I'm not going anywhere."

And with that, Elsa pulled Anna into her arms and held her tightly, letting her tears fall into Anna's hair as they both cried for their lost childhood and the happiness they should have had.

Days had passed and the sisters had become inseparable. After Olaf had come back from chasing butterflies and gently woke them up, some part of them was always touching. They held hands through meals and sat so close, they may as well have used one chair. Their feet moved against each other under the table during meetings, hidden from view of those they had appointments with. They sat by their window some nights, Anna's back fitting perfectly against Elsa's front, and looked at the stars. They stopped sleeping in separate rooms altogether, and woke up every morning in a tangle of arms and legs. The only time they weren't together was when they had to relieve themselves; Anna using the "water closet" excuse more in order to hide her less than perfect health from Elsa.

Life had to go on and they still worked so tirelessly that they fell asleep almost as soon as they crawled into bed, but something was changing between them. Feelings that they tried to repress before were blooming with no hope of containment. Every smile brought warmth, every touch a shiver. Elsa stopped burying her feelings for her little sister and instead let herself dote on Anna as much as she wanted. Elsa bought the most expensive chocolates and reveled in the hug she received when she surprised Anna with them. She willingly danced with Anna even when there was no music, loving how Anna seemed perfectly content to just sway with her. She was the big spoon to Anna's little, and would treasure the feeling of Anna safe, happy, and alive in her arms.

Anna had become fully aware that not only did she love Elsa, which was never in doubt, but she was also in love with her, which didn't take her by surprise as much as it should have. She felt silly for not realizing it sooner but didn't really blame herself. Elsa had always been, and will always be, the most important person in her life. Realized feelings or not, that wouldn't change so she never had to analyze her feelings toward her big sister. Every moment with Elsa was a blessing and Anna didn't know how she got so lucky. She loved touring Arendelle with her, both seeing what a difference a decade and change made for their kingdom and visiting old haunts. She introduced Elsa to Joan, having a serious conversation with the portrait about how she's so happy the two of them could finally meet. And never once feeling absurd as Elsa introduced herself and sincerely thanked Joan for keeping Anna company all this time.

But her favorite part was at night; when they'd retire to Elsa's room, perhaps watch the stars, and then slip under the bed covers. Elsa would immediately pull Anna to her and nuzzle her nose into Anna's neck. Her back fit perfectly against Elsa's front and here is where all the stress of the long day melted from them and they were truly at peace. And just as they're about to fall asleep, Elsa takes their intertwined hands and lays them against Anna's chest.

It's something Elsa did every night. She almost didn't once and Anna felt Elsa jerk awake behind her after she'd dozed off, only to adjust their hands to Anna's chest and then drift back to sleep. Anna realized there was a reason her sister did this and decided to ask her that night when she did it again before she fell asleep. Elsa always fell asleep before Anna, tired from waking up earlier, and the feeling of being in Elsa's protective embrace was enough for Anna to get a good night's sleep. She felt bad for delaying her sister's rest tonight, especially considering how non-stop they both worked from dawn to dusk and how exhausted Anna felt herself. But her curiosity had only grown throughout the day.

"Elsa?" Anna asked softly as she felt Elsa move their hands to her chest.

"Hmm?" Came her sister's sleepy voice from behind her.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?" Elsa's voice was slightly stronger now, since she realized Anna wanted to talk.

"You always have to move our hands before you sleep, I just wanted to know why?" She made sure to keep their hands against her in case Elsa got the wrong idea and thought it annoyed her.

"Oh." She barely heard Elsa say as she felt the breaths come quicker on her neck. Ignoring the thrill it sent through her, now wasn't the time for that, she was about to backtrack when Elsa finally spoke. "It- it's to feel your heartbeat."

"What do you mean?"

"I need to know you're breathing so that I can sleep." She felt Anna turn to face her but held her steady. It was easier to confess without her doe eyes staring into her soul. "Anna, ever since you unfroze, I've been terrified I'm going to lose you again. I'm afraid something is going to happen to you and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I would go to sleep these past weeks and every night, I'd see… I'd see you shattering into pieces as Hans' sword struck you. It was easier when we shared a bed but when we didn't, I could only fall back asleep once I looked in your room and saw your chest rise and fall." It was silent for a minute until… "I couldn't live if something happened to you, Anna."

Anna whimpered as she took Elsa's hand that lay awkwardly against her chest and laid the palm directly over her heart. "Do you feel my heartbeat, Elsa?" She felt her sister nod. "It's beating for you. As long as I'm with you, I'm safer, happier and feel more alive than I've ever felt in my life. You're the reason this heart beats. You're the reason this heart was able to continue beating even when it stopped three months ago."

They stayed that way for what seemed like hours, with Anna pressing Elsa's hand hard against her chest, it almost seemed possible for Elsa to reach in and grab it. But as she felt Elsa's breathing even out against her neck, she also felt guilt. Here was her big sister, terrified of losing her, and Anna had been hiding her ever so slowly deteriorating health from her. Granted, since that picnic day, they had been working non-stop. The only personal time being their rushed meals and when they would sometimes star gaze at night, time Anna wouldn't want to mar with unpleasantness. But every excuse was getting weaker and Elsa's anger at her hiding it would only grow.

_Tomorrow._ Anna thought as her eyes shut. _I'll tell her tomorrow._


	3. Tomorrow Didn't Work Out As Planned Pt1

Chapter 3- Tomorrow Didn't Work Out As Planned

Any hope Anna had of coming clean to Elsa was dashed when she found she could barely get out of bed the next day. Everything ached, her eyes were having difficulty adjusting to the sunlight streaming in from the window, and she knew her stomach was going to rebel if she moved anymore. She ducked under the covers to protect her eyes and took slow, deep breaths, trying to quell her nausea. Thankfully, it worked. A little too well as Anna soon found herself in a light doze.

_I'll just sleep for a few more minutes until Elsa wakes me…Elsa!_ Her eyes shot open and she turned to Elsa's side of the bed, which was empty. She hadn't heard any noise coming from the adjoining chambers so she knew Elsa wasn't in the room. _Where'd she go? Why didn't she wake me? _Anna glanced at the window. _What time is it? _

Her questions were soon answered as Gerda opened the door. She was trying to be silent but upon seeing Anna awake, dropped the act. "Princess Anna! You're finally up!" Gerda came to her side. "How do you feel?"

"Not the best, I suppose." Anna said dryly. She tried to sit up but stopped when her muscles screamed at her to cease all movement. It didn't matter: Gerda was pushing her back down anyways.

"No, dear. You must rest! This is the first time you've been awake today." Gerda smoothed back Anna's sweat-matted hair with an affectionate smile. "Honestly dear, I know you like your rest but sleeping until the afternoon is a bit much, don't you think?"

Anna grinned and patted Gerda's wrist. Gerda had always looked out for her since she was born and even more so in these past three years. She was lucky to have the older woman. She then remembered what Gerda just said. "Afternoon? But…What time is it?"

"It's 2 o'clock, Princess. You slept half the day away." Gerda placed her hand on Anna's forehead and gave a dissatisfied grunt. "I was hoping you'd sleep your fever away as well but you're still warm." She chuckled. "It's a good thing the Queen seems to be immune to illness or she'd be stuck in bed with you."

As appealing as the thought of Elsa and her in bed together all day was, it did bring up a good point. "Gerda, where is Elsa?"

"Oh, well, I suppose she's still meeting with her advisors. I've always found those meetings dreadfully boring. Too long, as well." Anna snorted in agreement. Gerda looked over the Princess for a few moments. "She was very worried this morning."

"She was?" Anna asked, feeling a strange mix of happiness and guilt.

"Oh yes. She burst into my chambers, saying all sorts of things in a panic and how we must find the doctor at once, giving me the impression you were on your deathbed. When she finally calmed down enough for me to ask what was wrong, she said you had a fever." Anna couldn't help the laugh that came forth and neither could Gerda.

_Oh, Elsa. And you call me adorable._

"Finally, we came back here so I could assess you myself. I managed to convince your sister that the doctor wasn't necessary and that I would take care of you. She was adamant that I check on you frequently.

Anna shook her head. "I don't remember any of that."

"You were fast asleep. Now tell me, what are you feeling?"

"Just warm and achy. A little nauseous."

"Hmm, just like I thought. Sounds like the flu."

_I wish it were the flu. _"Yes. Must be the flu."

Further conversation was halted as the door opened once again; this time the Queen on the other side. Elsa took one look, saw that Anna was awake, and rushed over to her.

"Anna! Are you all right?" Elsa was by their sides in a flash, perching on the bed by her sister. She did her own fever check, feeling some of her worry ease away as Anna hummed in approval at the cold hand caressing her face.

"I'm good, I'm good." She had missed Elsa, which was ridiculous considering they had barely been apart these past few days.

"She has the flu." Gerda informed Elsa. Anna pouted.

"The flu? Are you sure?" Elsa asked the woman who was one of the few to always know about her powers, making her one of the few people she trusted.

"She has most of the symptoms, so it's a safe assumption. Plus, it's been going around lately. A few of the staff have it as well." She glanced at Anna fondly. "That must be where our princess got it from."

Elsa wasn't pleased, Anna could tell, but she let it go. Elsa turned back to Anna ran her fingers through the auburn hair, smiling slightly at the content sigh she received.

"What are you feeling?"

"Just the flu symptoms." _Not technically a lie. I'll tell her later when she's not on edge._

"What can I get you? Do you need another blanket? Some water? Food! You probably want food, right?"

"Actually, I don't feel too hungry. I don't think my stomach could handle it, anyways."

"But you need to eat something."

"Actually," Anna removed Elsa's hand from her hair and laid it against her cheek, "what I need is for you to keep your hand right there. I've never been more thankful for your cool skin." Anna's eyes fluttered shut as relief came to her.

Elsa did as her little sister asked and tried to ignore the way Anna's soft moans of approval were warming her up. She'd be of no use to Anna, then. "Gerda?" She asked the woman, her eyes not leaving her sister's face.

"Yes, Queen Elsa?"

"Could you have the chefs prepare some chicken broth for her?"

"Already done." Elsa smiled. Gerda was always one step ahead. "And what would you like to eat? I know you haven't had lunch yet."

"I'll just have the same." Elsa turned to look at the elderly woman. "Thank you, Gerda. For everything."

"All in a day's work."

Elsa saw Gerda exit the room, silently closing the door. She turned back to Anna, enjoying the peaceful look on her face as she slept.

"Why didn't you eat lunch?"

Or Elsa thought she was sleeping.

"I was waiting until now. I wanted to eat lunch with you."

Anna opened her eyes, a playful grin on her features. "You didn't even know I was awake."

"Well, once I got too hungry, I would have just smacked you with the pillow so that I could finally eat something."

Anna laughed. "Liar."

"Of course." Elsa grabbed Anna's hand with her previously unoccupied one.

"I'm sorry for worrying you this morning. Gerda told me." She explained when she saw Elsa's confused eyebrow.

"Gerda." Elsa gave an amused eye roll. "I will admit it was an…overreaction on my part. Especially since it was just the flu." Anna chuckled and let the feeling of Elsa's hands relax her aching muscles. She sighed.

Elsa thought back to this morning. She remembered how she had woken up first, like any other morning. And laid a kiss on Anna's forehead, just like always. But when her lips touched skin, she pulled back, concerned by the heat radiating off of Anna. Everything was warm to Elsa, especially Anna. But this was excessive. She had called Anna's name and lightly shook her, only receiving pained groans in response. Worry building, she jumped out of bed and ran through the halls still in her nightgown. She barged into Gerda's quarters after half a knock and began going on about who knows what. Just trying to get the point across that _Anna wasn't okay_.

Thankfully, Gerda managed to keep her head and finally got Elsa to calm down. They came back to her room, where Gerda announced she would take care of Anna and yes, she would check on her frequently and no, Elsa should not cancel her appointments for today and wouldn't it be a better gift to Anna to have fewer meetings to attend?

Their quiet moment was interrupted by a knock on the door. Lunch was ready.


	4. Tomorrow Didn't Work Out As Planned Pt2

Chapter 4- Tomorrow Didn't Work Out as Planned (Part 2)

"Come in!" Elsa called. One of the waiters entered the bedroom, carrying a large tray with food and drinks balanced precariously on it. She stifled a laugh as she recalled Anna telling her that just the thought of carrying one of those trays was enough to make her trip. "Thank you." He placed the tray next to the bed, bowed, and left. "So…you feel like soup?"

Anna groaned.

"Please? You should eat something."

"I don't want to."

"You have to."

"No."

"Yes."

"Nuh-uh."

"For me?"

"Damn it." Anna said as she slowly started to sit up. Elsa knew Anna wouldn't say "no" now and bit back a smirk.

"Hooray!" Elsa mock cheered as she sat against the headboard and gently moved Anna, who was out of breath, next to her. She made sure Anna was comfortable and received a grateful smile. Flashing one back, she picked up one of the thermoses and opened it, both breathing deeply as the pleasant smell of broth filled the air.

She picked up a spoon. "Open wide."

Anna stared at her. "You're going to feed me?"

"Considering how much energy it took for you to sit up just now, yes." Anna would've protested but Elsa had that look in her eyes. The look that Anna knew meant Elsa was getting her way, whether Anna liked it or not, and there was no point in arguing. She used to see it a lot when she would run into Elsa in the castle while they were separated. And Elsa would do anything to get away from her. She opened her mouth without a fight, waiting for Elsa to feed her.

If Elsa was surprised at Anna's immediate compliance, she didn't show it. She fed her, blowing on each spoonful before giving it to Anna. They continued for a few minutes before Anna started laughing. "What's so funny?"

"It's nothing, really." Anna chuckled. "It's just…you're acting just like Mama used to when I got sick. Feeding me, blowing on the food, wiping it off my chin whenever you miss."

"I don't miss. You move."

"Same thing. Anyways, it's cute." Elsa was grateful that Anna ignored her blush and continued. "I don't know why I didn't remember that before now." She finished with a frown.

That surprised Elsa. "You didn't? That's strange, considering you fell sick more often than most children."

Anna lightly swatted Elsa's arm, laughing when her sister faked being hurt. "Well, I had to make up for you. Since you never got sick."

"Ah, yes. An unexpected upside to my powers." Elsa placed the now empty thermos on the stand next to them and made herself more comfortable around the headboard. Anna followed her lead and leaned against Elsa, sighing as her sister's cool skin comforted her uncomfortably warm body. "It also meant that I had to take care of you whenever you were contagious."

"Really?" Anna placed her head on Elsa's shoulder so that she could look at her. "Why would they make you? You were young!"

"I volunteered. I was the only one that could look after you without getting sick. Plus, I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Anna placed a kiss on the shoulder that was currently her pillow. "I should have known." She felt the rumble in Elsa's chest as her sister laughed. "I think I remember that, actually."

"You do?"

She grimaced. "Maybe. Some of my earlier memories are unclear. I have the ones I grew up thinking were true and the ones that were restored months ago. They only become clear when I try to recall a specific memory." Anna twirled her previously white strands of hair through her fingers. "It's frustrating."

Elsa felt that same wave of guilt come over her but it stopped when she felt Anna swat her arm again, harder than last time.

"Stop. I'm not blaming you. I'm sure I'll sort them out soon enough and they won't be fuzzy anymore.. I only wish-" Anna stopped, not sure if she should continue.

"You only wish what?"

"I only wish I hadn't lost the stripe in my hair in the process."

Of all the things Elsa expected she might hear, that was not one of them. "You…you miss the stripe?"

Anna nodded. "It's been there almost my entire life. It's really weird to look in the mirror and not see it anymore." She twirled said strand around her finger. "It made me feel special, in a way. And it…"

"Yes?" Elsa urged.

"It reminded me of you." Seeing Elsa's horrified look, Anna realized how Elsa understood her words and backtracked. "No! Not because of how I got it! Goodness, Elsa. It reminded me of your _hair_. It was like there was this one part of me that connected us, no matter how long we had gone without speaking. It made me feel closer to you and pretty and I really liked how different it was."

"Oh." Elsa said, calming down. She could understand that. Except for one thing. "It made you feel pretty?"

"It was a piece of you, Elsa. Anything to do with you was beautiful."

"Anna." Elsa said as she cupped her cheek. "You're beautiful." Elsa reveled in the way she could feel Anna's blush under her hand. "But would you mind if I said that I'm relieved the stripe isn't there anymore?"

"You are?"

"The happiest days of my life have taken place when you didn't have it. And every time I'd see it, I'd just remember that day and what I did to you and-"

"Shh, I understand." Anna told her, placing a kiss against Elsa's palm. "I understand. And if it's easier for you now, then I'm glad it's gone too."

Elsa let the feeling of Anna's lips on her hand distract her. "I'm sorry you miss it."

Anna nodded. "Me too. But I'll get over it." They smiled at each other until Anna realized something. "Hey, what about your lunch?"

"Oh!" Elsa looked at the other thermos the chef had prepared for her. She had forgotten about it, which was surprising considering how hungry she found she was. "I guess it's my lunch time."

"Want me to feed you?" Anna joked.

"I can manage it." Elsa said drily. "You just focus on getting better. How do you feel after you've eaten?"

"I feel better. But that's probably due to you rather than the food." Elsa hid her smile behind her thermos. "Thanks for waiting to have lunch with me."

"Of course."

They fell into mindless chatter after that, just enjoying each other's company. It wasn't too long, however, before Anna's eyes started closing. Elsa lowered her sister so that she was lying down, ignoring Anna's half-hearted protests that she was awake.

"Go to sleep, it's okay. You need to rest." She placed her hand against Anna's forehead, smiling as she felt that Anna's fever had come down since this morning. "Sleep now."

"Will you stay?"

Elsa had papers to sign. Books to read. Things she had to personally make sure get done since her Right Hand was out of commission and couldn't do it herself. Including telling Kai to send a message to Kristoff saying that it was probably better he came for dinner on a night when Anna wasn't sick. Instead, she did none of that and laid down next to Anna so that she could use the Queen as her personal ice pack.

"I'll be right here."

Anna snuggled and fell asleep.

_Anna was sitting on the edge of their bed, wearing nothing but a small nightgown and curling her finger in the perfect 'come hither' motion._

_ "Anna, we really shouldn't." Not that that stopped Elsa from walking over to her, halting just before they touched. Anna looked up at Elsa._

_ "But why not?" Anna uncrossed her legs, revealing she wasn't wearing anything underneath her gown and Elsa hissed. "You want me, don't you?"_

_ "Yes." It came out as a breathy moan, as Elsa was having a hard time keeping air in her lungs. Anna stood up, standing so close that their fronts were pressed against each other. Both let out a moan._

_ "And I," Anna wrapped her arms around Elsa's neck, smiling as Elsa closed her eyes when Anna played with the fine hair behind her neck, "definitely want you too."_

_ Whatever pathetic resolve Elsa had when it came to Anna crumbled at her feet as Elsa wrapped her arms around Anna's waist and kissed her._

_It was bliss. Anna moaned into her mouth and Elsa lost control as they both finally got what they wanted. Anna kept pulling her closer and Elsa kept grinding their hips together until finally Elsa lowered them to the bed…_

Elsa jolted awake, cursing her body for disrupting her dream at that precise moment. She turned her head to look at the sleeping figure that was tucked into her side. She smiled down at her sister for a moment before a flush of embarrassment came over her. Yes, she had had those kinds of dreams about her sister before, but never when Anna was sleeping so close to her.

_Maybe that's why this one felt more real _Elsa thought as the discomfort between her legs started to dull. _I wonder if what Dream Anna said was true…Does Anna have those same feelings for me? _There had certainly been signs, especially in these last few weeks. They were inseparable; parts of them always touching. And more than once, Elsa had noticed Anna just staring at her with the same expression Elsa saw in the mirror whenever she thought of the younger girl.

The thought of Anna feeling the same way both elated and scared her. On the one hand, all of Elsa's dreams would come true if Anna loved her the same way. But then, if Anna did love her and they started a relationship, what would the kingdom say when their secret was inevitably found out? She guessed most of the townsfolk were uncomfortable with the idea of incest, even though it was not uncommon with royal families. Elsa remembered how she reacted when she first read about how royal siblings could in fact marry each other. She was still young, so there wasn't much romantic intent behind it, but the thought of being with Anna for the rest of their lives made her incredibly happy. And Anna's squeal in delight when Elsa mentioned how it meant they'd never have to be apart made it so much better.

Oh, how things could change.

As Elsa watched the slow rise and fall of Anna's chest, she knew one thing was certain. Whether or not her feelings were requited, Elsa would protect Anna. And if they were requited and someone took an aggressive stance against them…Well, Elsa knew she was capable of killing someone.

Almost as if she could sense the darker path Elsa's thoughts had taken, Anna started to wake up. She rubbed her eyes with the backs of her hands, just like a newborn, and made an irritated groan. Elsa couldn't help but laugh and Anna turned to her when she heard the melodic sound.

She smiled. "You stayed." The hint of uncertainty in her sister's voice was enough to make Elsa want to never leave Anna's side again.

"Of course." Elsa told her, smoothing out Anna's hair. "How are you feeling?"

Anna nodded. "Better. And hungry."

"That's a good sign." Elsa laughed.

"I'm going to go freshen up." Anna told her as she slowly sat up. Elsa quickly stood up and rushed to the other side of the bed, helping Anna up.

"Would you like some help?"

"I can manage. Thank you." Anna told her as she made her way into the adjoining room and closed the door behind her. She leaned against it and closed her eyes, trying to calm the throbbing between her legs as her mind kept replaying the painfully arousing dream she had just had about Elsa.

Minutes later, Anna had cleaned up and walked back into their bedroom. She walked over to Elsa, who was standing by one of their many bookcases. "So, we managed to sleep until dinnertime." Elsa nodded, looking at her sister with such fondness that Anna couldn't help but smile. "Should we go to the dining hall now?"

"Dining hall? But why? Aren't we eating here?"

Anna pouted. "I've been in this room all day. What's wrong with going downstairs?"

Elsa looked unsure, then checked Anna's temperature. "You're still warmer than I'd like. I had hoped you would sleep it off, but you still have a slight fever. I think it's better that we eat here."

"I feel fine, Elsa." It wasn't a complete lie. She felt better than she did before, even if she still wasn't feeling the best. But if Elsa was this worried over a small fever, who knew how she would react when Anna finally told her about this odd bug that wouldn't leave her alone. Anna should act like she was feeling 100 percent. It might lessen the blow. "Besides, we wouldn't want to leave Kristoff alone at dinner, would we?"

Elsa's eyes widened as she realized she forgot to send a message to him telling Kristoff that dinner would have to be set for another time. But as soon as Anna asked her to stay, all thoughts of responsibilities left Elsa. "Damn." She said softly. "I forgot to tell him. Well, I'm sure he'll understand why we cancelled."

"He would understand. But there's no need to cancel. I feel okay, Elsa. Really." Anna gave Elsa the puppy eyes she had a hard time resisting. "Please can we eat downstairs?" Still seeing her sister was unconvinced, Anna played her trump card. "For me?"

_ Well, she's not really giving me a choice, is she?_

Kristoff had already been waiting for them and after all the pleasantries had been exchanged, including Kristoff waving a carrot in the air saying how Olaf had managed to spare him one after stealing several from the kitchen for Sven, they finally sat down to the nicely prepared dinner. Yet even with all the more flavorful choices, Anna had been forced to start with a large bowl of soup under Elsa's watchful eye.

Nevertheless, the meal was enjoyable. Kristoff entertained them with stories from his journey to Matley and blushed when he repeatedly mentioned one of the cute barmaids that he had run into. A fact which the sisters immediately teased him about. Elsa updated him on any changes in Arendelle that occurred while he was away, a subject that was lacking since he was only gone for a few days. And Anna told him about what they had been up to, conveniently forgetting to mention about how she had been ill this morning. A fact Elsa was quick to remind her of. Anna's response was to stick her tongue out at her and assure Kristoff that she was fine when he looked concerned. Whatever unwarranted jealousy she had aside, Elsa did appreciate how Kristoff and her could agree that Anna's health was of utmost importance.

Anna changed the subject by asking about Sven and the conversation drifted away from her, with Kristoff eagerly sharing stories about his beloved reindeer and how he could tell Sven was eager to return to Arendelle.

Dinner was pleasant until Anna started to feel unwell again. One moment, she was laughing along with Elsa and Kristoff about Olaf and Sven's crazy antics and the next, she felt a wave of dizziness wash over her. Which was especially odd since she was sitting down. Luckily, no one seemed to notice and dinner progressed as Anna started to feel worse every passing moment.

_Why is it so hot all of a sudden? I should get some fresh air. It might do me some good. _Anna thought and thankfully the servers had started clearing their plates, signaling dinner was at its end. Elsa and Kristoff had stood up and she shakily followed suit.

"Well, I should get going." Kristoff said as he started his good byes, thanking Elsa for the meal and telling Anna to feel better soon. Anna told him they'll see each other soon and that perhaps they could all go sledding when the Queen and Princess weren't so busy. He eagerly agreed and took his leave. Anna saw him eat half of his carrot and smiled at the thought of him saving the other half for Sven. Especially since it sounded like Olaf already brought Sven more than his share.

"So," Anna said as she turned back to Elsa. "How much work did I keep you from this afternoon?" She laughed when Elsa cast her eyes downward. "I knew it. You had to sign off on the amendments to those trade agreements, right?"

A small nod.

"Go do that now. I know you won't sleep well tonight knowing that's unfinished."

"And what will you do?"

"I was going to go for a walk. Get some fresh air."

"Do you want company?"

"You know I always love your company but I'll be fine." Anna kissed Elsa's cheek. "Go be Queen."

Elsa chuckled. "All right then. I'll finish as soon as I can. Don't over exert yourself." Anna didn't respond but instead pressed another kiss to her cheek, then left towards the garden. Elsa watched her go, sensing something was wrong.

As soon as Anna made her way into the garden, she took a deep breath, hoping the fresh air would ease the claustrophobic feeling she had.

_ Get it together, Anna. What's wrong with you?_

She walked towards the nearest bench and laid down, letting fresh air and the scent of roses wash over her. It helped. She felt her chest untighten and stomach ease. She knew that if Elsa had followed her and saw her like this, she'd immediately know something was wrong. She again regretted putting off telling Elsa for so long. Anna stiffened when she heard footsteps nearby but let out a relieved sigh when she saw that it was Olaf.

"Hi, Anna!" Olaf said when he saw her. He stopped in front of her. "Are you alright?"

"Yes."

The nice thing about Olaf was that he always accepted the answer you gave him. "Oh good! Sven and I just had the best time together." He proceeded to tell Anna about every detail of his time with Sven and Anna concentrated on his excited voice, trying to ignore her discomfort. It wasn't until Olaf suggested they go back inside that she realized they had been sitting out there for quite a while.

"Okay." Anna said as she stood up. And immediately fell back down as a strong dizziness took ahold of her. She put her head in her hands and let out a pained whimper.

"Anna! Anna, what's wrong!" Anna couldn't respond, feeling if she opened her mouth, she might throw up. "Stay here, I'll go get Elsa!" Olaf ran off towards the castle and Anna wasn't worried about what Elsa's reaction would be when she found her. She just wanted Elsa to make it better.

Olaf had always had a sense for the girls' locations, something he was especially glad for this moment. He rushed to Elsa's study, where he found her sitting at her desk.

"I'm sorry, Anna. I'm trying to finish this as fast- Olaf!" Elsa had turned around and realized she wasn't speaking to her sister. "How are…" She stopped talking when she noticed Olaf's scared expression. "What's wrong?" She stood up and walked towards him.

"It's Anna!" Panic gripped Elsa at those words and frost appeared instantly at her feet.

"Where is she?" She asked loudly and Olaf grabbed her hand and ran.

When they got to the courtyard in record time, terror seized Elsa's heart as she saw her sister doubled over, clutching her head and groaning in pain.

"Anna!" Elsa ran to her, frost trailing behind her. She sat down before her, holding Anna's knees. "Anna, please. Talk to me."

"Elsa?" Anna had barely noticed when Olaf ran off and suddenly, Elsa was before her. "My head…"

"We have to get you to the doctor, sweetheart." The term of endearment slipped past Elsa's lips as she stood up. "Can you walk?"

Anna slowly stood up, leaning against Elsa. Except this time, instead of falling back onto the bench, her legs gave out and she collapsed.

The last thing Anna knew before she gave into the blackness surrounding her was a pair of cool arms immediately wrapping around her waist and a terrified shriek of her name.


	5. When It All Comes Crashing Down

Chapter 5: When It All Comes Crashing Down

Time stopped for Elsa as she watched Anna's eyes shut and her knees give out. The horrible childhood memory of Elsa failing to protect Anna hit her full force as she watched her baby sister head towards the ground. Again.

She yelled Anna's name, barely recognizing the inhuman sound that escaped instead. _For once in your life, catch her! _

Olaf disappeared into the castle shouting for help and Elsa snapped herself out of her horrified stasis and caught her sister. Arms so tight around Anna's middle that her muscles were straining, she gently lowered them to the ground, holding Anna's head in her lap and trying desperately to not think of all the ways her entire world could be ending in front of her.

_Please be okay. Please. Please. Please._

"Anna!" She checked Anna's pulse with a trembling hand, relieved when a strong but overly fast _thump_ was felt. "Sweetheart, please wake up. For me, wake up for me. Please Anna. Come on, Snowflake!" Each word was spoken with escalating panic; voice rough with tears. But Anna wouldn't respond. She bent down and kissed Anna's forehead, tears trying so hard to escape. But Elsa wouldn't let them. She'd give in to her emotions only after she knew Anna was going to be fine. And she _would_ be fine. Nothing else.

_I wouldn't survive the alternative. _

She heard a loud commotion come from inside the castle and knew it was countless people coming to their aid. "I got you, Anna. I got you." Elsa leaned down and picked Anna up in her arms, cradling her baby sister to her chest. Elsa may not have been particularly strong, but Anna had always been lithe.

_Was she always so tiny?_

The tears had won and were rolling down her cheeks as Elsa blinked them away and rushed towards the castle; Anna's head tucked under her neck to prevent it from lolling painfully. As soon as the Queen crossed the threshold, she heard gasps and several workers came up to her, each trying to take the Princess from her arms.

Elsa wouldn't have it. She tightened her grip on Anna and turned away from their stares, shielding her sister. "I've got her. Send for the doctor, please."

Several people took off in different directions, a few of them slipping on ice that had quickly formed on the ground, but her mind was back on the girl in her arms. The girl whose warm breath against her neck was the only thing stopping her from falling apart in front of her subjects. She noticed Olaf, Gerda, and Kai trail after her on the stairs, and shook her head when Kai tried to hold Anna. He reluctantly lowered his hands.

They reached the sisters' bedroom in record time. Elsa laid Anna on the bed and gently patted her cheek, hoping the movement would rouse her. It did not.

"Why isn't she waking?" Elsa asked Gerda, who had appeared next to her with a cool washcloth. "Why won't she open her eyes? Why-?" Elsa's voice cracked and Gerda looked at her Queen, eyes laced with sympathy and concern. "Fainting victims are supposed to wake a minute or two after losing consciousness. It's been longer. Why isn't she looking at me?" Elsa directed the last question at Gerda, voice broken in a way Gerda hadn't heard before.

"I'm sure she'll be fine, Queen Elsa." Gerda touched Elsa's shoulder and then moved to Anna's side, brushing the hair from her face and dabbing her forehead with the washcloth. She watched as Elsa held Anna's hand tightly in her own and sighed sadly.

Gerda loved both the sisters but Anna held a special place in her heart. Ever since the young princess had gone around asking everyone in the castle if they knew why her big sister didn't want to play with her anymore and then looked at Gerda with those heartbroken eyes…Gerda had, for the first and only time, cursed her beloved King and Queen for separating the two. She didn't know what had caused it but surely it couldn't be worth the sadness in the small child's eyes? Gerda had done what she could to make Anna feel better. She'd tell her stories as she worked, tell her which books Elsa had read so that Anna could read them too, and she'd sneak her all sorts of chocolates. Though Gerda suspected half those chocolates had ended up outside Elsa's door as a plea for her to come out of her room. Gerda looked down at the unconscious woman, though she'd always be a little girl to her, and felt her eyes burn. She did not like to see the Princess hurt.

Olaf appeared on Elsa's other side, taking in the scene with unusually somber eyes. He wriggled his nose and looked at Elsa. "Why don't you kiss her?"

Elsa choked on the air she was breathing and turned to the snowman. She heard Gerda and Kai chuckle behind her but ignored it. "What?"

"Maybe an act of true love will cure her. Why don't you try it?"

Elsa was saved from answering when Kai answered a knock at the door. He let in the physician, a portly woman in her forties with short brown hair who bowed before Elsa.

"My Queen, I came as quick as I could." She said.

"Thank you, Dr. Woll." While Elsa had never met Dr. Woll, after all she didn't get sick, she knew the doctor had taken care of Anna before when she was sick. She had even attended to any illnesses her parents might have had, back when they were alive. It was nice to put a face to the name.

The doctor hurried over to Anna, taking the necessary equipment out of her bag. "Tell me what happened. Has Princess Anna been sick for long?"

Elsa ran through the events of the day while keeping a careful eye as the doctor worked on her sister, taking her pulse and temperature, checking for injuries, etc. She told of how Anna woke with a fever with had steadily lessened throughout the day. How she had kept her lunch down and taken a long nap.

"She managed to convince me she was fine enough to go down to dinner." Elsa squeezed Anna's hand in her lap. "I was foolish. I should have made us eat dinner here instead. She shouldn't have been overexerting herself. I don't know why I agreed." _Yes you do. _She thought bitterly. _One flash of her doe eyes and you lose all reason. And look what you've done to her now. _She brought Anna's hand to her mouth, kissing it and tried hard to keep the tears at bay. _Anna. Please forgive me. Wake up._

"Your Majesty?"

Elsa looked at the doctor. "Yes?"

"I believe she's waking up."

Elsa turned her gaze to Anna, feeling relief wash over her as her breathing picked up and Anna's eyes fluttered open. She sprung off her seat by the foot of the bed and instead kneeled on the floor by Anna's head. She let out a shaky breath as Anna's glazed eyes looked around the room and then finally settled on her.

"Wh- Elsa?" Anna said shakily. She looked at her older sister, blinking hard. She opened her mouth to ask what happened but when her eyes finally focused on Elsa, she saw the tear tracks on her soft cheeks. She gasped and gently tugged away the hand that was nestled in Elsa's grasp and brought it to the older girl's face, intent on wiping away the sadness. Anna believed that Elsa, her amazing, brilliant, perfect Elsa should never be sad.

Elsa felt Anna's touch on her cheek, her sister attempting to wipe away her tears, and lost what little control she had over her emotions. She started softly whimpering as every negative emotion from the past thirty minutes hit her. Goodness, had it really only been half an hour? It felt like a lifetime. Anna tried to wipe away as many tears as she could but they were coming too fast. Her heart broke a little more at every pained sound her sister emitted and she pulled Elsa's face to hers, kissing away the tears. Elsa's whimpers eventually stopped as the Queen rested her head partly against Anna's and partly on the pillow, exhausted from her crying fit.

She let the feel of Anna's breath on her face and their hands that had somehow intertwined calm her. She was content to stay there for as long as she could and only moved away when the sound of a door closing startled her. She turned back to see that Olaf, Gerda, and Kai had left the room and that Dr. Woll was standing by the corner, looking uncomfortable and focusing all her attention on the window. Elsa thought she'd feel ashamed from looking so vulnerable in front of others but she couldn't find it within her to care. She turned back to the princess and they just looked at each other as Elsa cupped the side of Anna's face, a finger outlining the shell of Anna's right ear that Elsa knew had always been sensitive. Something they had figured out as children. Anna smiled at Elsa, remembering how her big sister would do the same thing when she was small and waking up from a nap. Elsa returned the smile.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired, but okay. A little weak maybe."

"Dr. Woll?" Elsa asked, eyes not leaving Anna's.

The doctor jumped at the sound, apparently a bit too successful in giving the sisters their privacy. "Yes, Your Majesty?"

"If you would, please."

The doctor came over and Elsa reluctantly got up from the floor. She knew the doctor had to give Anna a private consultation but the thought of letting Anna out of her sight filled her with dread. _No, Anna's health comes before your wishes. You just went over this. _With a long sigh, Elsa gave Anna's hand a squeeze and turned to leave.

Anna didn't let go of her hand. "Where-where are you going?" _Please don't leave._

Elsa turned around and gave her a small smile. "Dr. Woll has to talk to you in private. I'll be right outside the door, Anna."

"But…can't you stay?" Elsa looked at the doctor, hoping she would say yes.

"It's up to Her Highness." Even if it wasn't, Dr. Woll doubted she could say no to the looks the two were giving her, even if they weren't Arendelle's Royal Family.

"Good. Tell me what happened." Anna knew what happened. She didn't consider herself to be particularly smart, especially compared to Elsa, but she knew enough to put the pieces together. She remembered feeling dizzy in the gardens and knew she must have fainted. She mainly asked to find out what happened afterwards and to also put off Dr. Woll's diagnosis. _This is it. _Anna thought with building dread. _This is where it comes out that you've been sick for all this time and never told anyone. Never told Elsa. _Her throat choked up. _She's going to be so angry with you! But worse she's going to be so hurt that you didn't tell her. She's going to think you don't trust her. She won't understand it's because you didn't want to worry her or frighten off whatever was happening between them. God Anna, you're so stupid! Why did you wait this long? Why didn't you go to the doctor on your own? Yes, your personal guards would have most likely reported the visit to Elsa but that would have been a much better alternative._

Elsa left Anna's side and walked around to behind the bed in order to give the doctor her space and to keep a clear view on what she was doing to Anna. It was also so that she could tell the story without looking into Anna's eyes and breaking down.

"It was horrible." She noticed Anna jolt and tilt her head towards her. "You had gone for a walk and I was catching up on paperwork when Olaf came running into my study. I thought he was you at first but when I looked at him, I could tell something was wrong. So when he said your name-" Elsa took a breath to compose herself, "I just ran where he lead. You were sitting on the bench and when you tried to get up…you collapsed. I carried you here and then Dr. Woll came and you woke up." Elsa vaguely remembered creating slippery ice on the first floor. She wondered if it was still there or if she had to thaw it. She hoped none of the workers fell on it.

Anna was caught up on one detail Elsa mentioned. "You carried me?" She craned her neck back in an uncomfortable angle to look at her sister.

"Of course. You're light."

"My hero." Elsa blushed and Anna smiled at her. But she realized that at Elsa's angle, it would look like a frown. So she frowned instead.

Elsa laughed as she realized what her sister was doing. "You're ridiculous." She said lovingly. The two smiled at each other and Elsa signaled for Dr. Woll to start.

Dr. Woll moved to Anna's side. "First of all: Hello, Your Highness."

"Hello, Dr. Woll. Nice to see you again. It's been a while."

"Yes it has, which is a good thing for the patient. How are you feeling? It took longer than I'm comfortable with for you to wake up." Dr. Woll went through the basic questions, with Anna answering her, until she stopped at one and looked a bit embarrassed. "Now this one is something I ask all my female patients and I don't mean to imply anything but it's important: Is there a chance that you could be pregnant?"

The intensity of the jealousy that took over Elsa's body surprised her. Frost was at her fingertips and her eyes burned as she yearned to unleash her fury on anyone who was touching Anna that way. She knew the question was necessary but to think of Anna in the arms of someone else, of Anna carrying someone else's child…Elsa could feel bile in her throat.

Anna had a completely different reaction. She burst out in laughter. "No! There's no chance." Anna felt the rapid temperature drop in the room and wanted to put Elsa's mind at ease. _Honestly Elsa, I've been spending all my time with you! Who would I be sneaking out to see? Besides, the only person whose child I'd want to carry is yours- _Anna's body grew very hot at the thought and she almost missed Dr. Woll's next words.

"I just had to make sure since you mentioned nausea and bouts of dizziness. What other symptoms have you been feeling?"

Anna gulped. This was it. The moment she'd been dreading since she realized her sickness wasn't just a bug. "Well, I've been feeling more tired than usual. Headaches. Random muscle aches, sometimes all over my body." With each word, she felt Elsa's stare harden.

The familiar feeling of dread was back for Elsa, increasing with every malady Anna mentioned. _She's been feeling all this? When? I've been with her these past few weeks! Months even! _

"…heat flashes…"

Elsa's head was spinning.

"…tunnel vision…"

Her heart was pounding hard.

"…occasionally…just a few times…difficulty breathing…"

Elsa lost it. "Difficulty breathing?" She wasn't yelling but there was coldness in her voice that shocked the other two. "You've had difficulty breathing and you didn't say anything? And nausea? Heat flashes? Dizzy spells?" She walked around the bed so that she was in front of Anna. "You've been feeling all of this? Why didn't you tell me? Why did you hide it?"

Anna sat up, tears in her eyes. This was exactly what she was afraid of. "Elsa, please! Try to understand! I didn't want to risk-!"

"Understand? Understand what, Anna? Understand that you've been hiding something that could possibly be very serious and risking your health?" _Understand that you could be dying? How could I ever understand that? _She was so focused on Anna that she didn't notice Dr. Woll leave.

"I was going to tell you!"

"You were going to tell me? When? When you were on your deathbed?" Elsa scrunched her eyes shut at the thought and tried to lower her voice. She didn't mean to be yelling but the possibility that Anna could be seriously ill was eradicating all rational thought. _Why wouldn't she tell me?_

"Elsa, I'm so sorry!"

"You promised me, Anna." Tears were in Elsa's eyes as well. "I asked you if you would tell me when you weren't feeling well and you looked right in my eyes and said you would. Why would you lie?"

"I didn't want you to worry!" Anna knew the excuse was feeble but it had seemed so important to her that Elsa didn't worry about her; didn't isolate herself in some harmful form of protection.

"Well, I'm plenty worried now, Anna! I mean, one moment I think my baby sister is completely healthy, and the next I find out she's been hiding something that could potentially be life threatening!" Elsa angrily wiped away her tears. "How long have you been sick?"

Anna was silent, heart tearing to pieces inside her chest. _She hates me. I screwed up and she hates me._

"How long, Anna? A week? A few weeks? A month?"

Silence.

"Two months?"

Silence.

Elsa felt like she couldn't breathe. "Anna!"

"Since summer!" Anna's voice echoed off the walls. The only noise that could be heard was their harsh breaths as Elsa let the revelation sink in.

_Summer? Since summer? Since the Thaw? Oh god oh god no oh god oh god no oh god no no no oh god! _Elsa just knew it had to do with her powers. Her curse. Her curse that continually harmed the one person who meant _everything_ to her.

"Since I froze you?" _Since I killed you? _

Anna's silence was answer enough.

Elsa felt as if she might faint as everything now made a horrifying amount of sense. _That's why she didn't tell you. Your powers are the reason she's in this mess. You're the reason. You're the one that's killing her._

_Stop._

_You only ever hurt her._

_Stop._

_It's you fault._

"It's my fault." Elsa said softly. Anna immediately shook her head, rising to her knees.

"No, it's not! Elsa, _please_, just listen to me!" Anna reached out to grab her sister's hand and Elsa flinched away. They stared at each other: Elsa is grief and Anna in heartbreak. Back to how they used to be.

"Please don't. I'll only hurt you." Elsa whispered. "It's all I ever do." They were both sobbing.

"Elsa, please-"

"I'm so sorry, Anna." Elsa ran from the room. Anna took off after her but the ice on the ground made her stumble. By the time she reached the door, Elsa was gone. She fell to her knees, the sounds of her cries echoing throughout the castle.

Elsa ran throughout the halls, rime at her every step. Heart breaking at every turn, she wasn't concentrating on where she was going. Only on the fact that she was, yet again, the reason Anna's life was in danger. She came upon the door and paused before going inside.

She couldn't remember the last time she was in her parents' bedroom but it looked just how she remembered it. They had requested that nothing be moved, with the room serving as a shrine to their late parents. Elsa sat on the bed and burst into tears.

_It's your fault it's your fault if she dies why do I keep hurting her I love her why can't I stop hurting her why do I have these powers all they do is hurt her if she dies I couldn't live with myself why is this happening it's all my fault_

"What do I do?" She asked aloud, as if expecting her parents to answer her. "How do I help her? How do I stop hurting her?"

Anna was her true love. Elsa knew that with more certainty than she knew the sun rises in the east. So why could she never stop hurting her?

Elsa sat on the large bed for what could have been hours. She knew the first thing she had to do was heal whatever her powers were doing to Anna. After that…could she stay away from Anna for her own good, even if it would destroy her?

Elsa shook her head and walked out on the balcony. She leaned against the railing and tried to control her breathing. Even the thought of separating from Anna again felt like it would kill her. Elsa stared up at the stars the memory of something Anna said to her came to mind.

_They were supposed to be watching the stars, but Elsa was watching Anna. She took in the way Anna's eyes lighted up when she remembered the correct name of a constellation or how her smile put the brightest star to shame. How a blush almost as red as her hair graced her cheeks when she caught Elsa staring._

_ "What are you staring at?"_

_ "You." Elsa answered honestly. Then she had a mischievous smile. "I'm trying to see if there are any constellations in your freckles." She then began gently poking them and delighting in Anna's laughter._

_ "Elsa!"_

_ She dragged her finger across Anna's face. "That's Orion's Belt. That's a new constellation of its own. That one's slightly bigger, so that must be a world."_

_ Anna batted her hands away with a laugh, but then took them in her own with a serious expression. "Elsa?"_

_ "Yes?"_

_ "You're my world." Elsa stopped breathing._

_ "Anna…"_

_ "You are. You're my world."_

_ Elsa stared at Anna before kissing her temple. "You're my world too."_

_ "I love you."_

_ "I love you too."_

_ "I can't live without you."_

_ "I can't live without you either but Anna, " Elsa looked at her, "where is this coming from?"_

_ "My heart." Anna told her. "And I know it's not healthy for one person to be so dependent on someone else but Elsa, I need you."_

_ Elsa curled her arms around Anna in a fierce hold, feeling Anna do the same. "I need you too. More than anything. You won't lose me. Not if I can help it."_

The memory was all Elsa needed. Her mind was yelling at her that Anna was safer without her. But her heart was guiding her back to Anna. And Anna always told her to listen to her heart.


End file.
